Monday, May 21, 2012
A sea of sadness continues it's timber movements.. in and out the waves continue to peel a silent sigh in it's waking slumber it calls out to me. Calleach showed me the lost baby, picked it from the thorn bushes and placed it deep into my chest the exhaustive coughs of neglect creates pits of dust in my throat My mouth opens and a sound can be heard a distant melody that brings with it the sounds of yesterday and with it a leaky heart that mourns its own death They gave me a new heart in order to prevent the re-occuring pain but grief continues to bleed form me as if i was made from a well of sadness Imbass work, Imbass work...there is still something that drives me away from you Not with any worthy distraction of course, but rather a frustrating fixated gaze at the reasons your parts dont seem to work Claire left in the North, her path called her elsewhere she said, that she still loved me dearly and hoped to meet me on the other side Abandonment and betrayal came to visit, i denied their existence with every attempt to protect the glass house i had built i defended her reasons Most days i still feel numb, she's in there somewhere in the background just not a memory i can contend with just yet. I met a man that spoke in many ways to me he told me of great things and spoke of new ways of being i had only envisioned in my journeys there was that chance we might fall down the rabbit hole, get drunk of the love of abandon and find ourselves somwhere in between. His capacity to manage multiple relationships was too much too heavy a burden to carry - i was the extrapolated part perhaps it wouldnt be so bad if he did something with the walls that keep him from remembering the way he felt at least that way i would feel it was worth the moment of unveiling.. protect your heart they tell me.. but how i needlessly wonder, was it not just yesterday we had to chisel the iron lock off its pump and allow the blood to continue to pump? Yet still within it all, my voice has slowly risen to the surface out of the broken depths of ursula's buried shell find your song Calleach said while making her stew of melody find your song... but how? but how? i asked find your song, find your song, find your song.