Tuesday, March 30, 2010


I get the impression often that people often conceptualize the concentration on the inward journey as narcisstic, an obsession with self-preoccupation and a failure to include the needs of the collective. This has been a source of doubt on my own journeys with the internal abyss, as I still find myself rather sensitive to other's perceptions, a walk that will still take much time. But I often wonder if it is simply reflective of a misconception resulting from a disparity in worldview.

In my own experiences in a range of sub-culture and cultural terrain, each experience reflects a diverse and unique array of perceptions, that can be argued to be responsible for a healthy percentage of the way we perceive the world around us. Culturally defined notions of right way or wrong way provide us with a trustworthy road map of the ways in which we should operate in the world. To date, the most popular of these are open mindedness, acceptance and diversity, so we work hard to uphold the social mores of the finest academic elite in order to show our respect and admonition of these values on behalf of all people. Yet I have noticed, do little to actually enact behaviors consistent with the expression of these values, but in our fixation with creating the structure of them, we fail to be aware of what is actually demonstrated in our day to day coming and goings.

An inward journey does that. It's a perceptive inward eye that watches, explores one's internal reactions to the external events of the way in which one interacts with the world around them, in many ways and at many levels. It asks one to consider the motivations, desires, thoughts, e-motions, fealings and stirrings that urge the individual to interact with it in that manner, not through the restriction of intellectual examination alone, but by way of experience. As such, it requires one to approach life with an ease of fluidity while accepting that their nature will attempt to control the events and such put up a restriction preventing the fluidity. It also asks that one will be open to the things they discover within them about themselves, the world, the ways in which they shape their world and affect the world around them. It asks people to be responsible, honest and to walk with integrity. Yet even these will be uniquely designed.

From this perspective, which is mine of course, the honoring of one's own inward journey, the process of acting it out in the world, shapeshifting as the journey requires and a commitment and dedication to their actualzation as contribution is the highest honor one may pay the collective. And that by given the opportunity to actualize themselves freely in this way would allow us to be less concerned with others often born of our boredom with life and relentless suffocation relieved for a moment in obliteration of another. That as we gave ourselves permission to be ourselves, we too would give others permission to do the same. I see this as much more productive than devising yet another schemata of principles meant to regulate the expression of self only serving to be reflective of a "different" majority's opinions.

Maybe this idea is simply idealistic, some would say a notion stolen from the fantasy and lore of a mystical fairytale or utopean dream. Or maybe it is no different than what i have described above, an externalization of a perceptual and subjective opinion, but then there really only is subjectivity after all. I have yet been able to deliver a perspective that is not colored by my social location, worldview, story, inner narrative, perception and values. So then it would seem the most responsible thing than would be to maintain an awareness of my inner world, for it is there where i will see myself and be responsible for how i interact with my external world. But again let's not forsake the culturally embedded ways in which we give meaning to our world.

Narcissism Personality Disorder Defined

1. Positive. Narcissists think they are better than others. (Hmmm, is this not the underlying value guiding our social structure, politics, legitimizing acts)

2. Inflated. Narcissists’ views tend to be contrary to reality. In measure which compare self-report to objective measures, narcissists self-views tend to be greatly exaggerated (again, first of all whose reality is being defined here and wheres that objectiive reality again?)

3.Agentic. Narcissists’ views tend to be most exaggerated in the agentic domain, relative to the communion domain. (Depends on the contextualization of agent--community relationship and c'mon what about our focus on the collective that more often than not serves the 3-5% of the agentic domain, not to mention that if power is only actualized through the inward outward, it's no wonder the stigma asks we ignore our needs)

4. Special. Narcissists perceive themselves to be unique and special people. (of course, i mean there is no room for uniqueness or individuality in a society that demands conformity and obedience)

5. Selfish. Research upon narcissists’ behaviour in resource dilemmas supports the case for narcissists as being selfish (or rather more disobedient and not self-sacraficing and therefore *powerless*)

6. Oriented toward success. Narcissists are oriented towards success by being, for example, approach oriented (And the tenent of western culture, success orientated..interesting)

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